The Big Journey

The 'travel checklist' … ticking all the boxes!

• Maximum cycles of chemotherapy ✔️

Journey duration of around 6 months

• Unforeseen opportunity to have surgery ✔️

Nice surprise alternative 'diversion' to the 'road closure'

• Little surgery before the Big surgery ✔️

Portal & hepatic vein embolisation

• The BIG surgery ✔️

Right hepatectomy, cholecystectomy and extended lymphadenectomy

• Post surgery recovery ✔️

Long bumpy road with moments of deep darkness

All boxes ticked, journey complete - arrived at the destination! ✔️✔️✔️

Or so I thought.... until... those annoying scans got in the way!!!

'Recurrent cholangiocarcinoma'!!!

This can't be possible!!! Arghhhhhhhhh ..... but....but... I 'threw the kitchen sink at it', it does not make any sense, it was all good post surgery and I feel well??!!

Right, I need to go through my list, I must have missed something!

• Conventional medical treatments ✔️
• Functional medicine in integrative oncology with a 'suitcase' filled with tests and supplements ✔️
• Strict diet: no sugar, eat broccoli until my eyes turn green, be afraid of eating the wrong things, only organic will do (even if it is all wrapped in plastic), no fun ✔️
• Meditations, affirmations, visualisations, rituals ✔️
• Complimentary treatments ✔️
• Read inspirational books ✔️
• Exercise ✔️
• Spend time in nature ✔️

No... all double checked. Did not miss anything! Or did I???

Was I so consumed with staying alive that I forgot how to live? So focused on healing that I lost myself along the way? Was I so afraid of EVERYTHING that I forgot how to have fun?

Now what??? I am at a cross roads... Where do I turn?

Ok the medical team are on it and much to my disgust we can re-challenge with the old chemo Gemcitabine and Cisplatin. Oh wait... and there is a new kid on the block: Immunotherapy Durvalumab! Ok now we are talking, time to bring in the big guys, we mean business!

But... what else can I do???

Well, as the wise Albert Einstein once said:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results' 

So I must change course, I need to change the direction of travel!

And so I 'packed my bags' once again and embarked on another journey... 

Sara 💙

'You may see me struggle... but you'll never see me quit!

unknown