So close ...
With 'bags packed , compass in the pocket and having taken the time re-assess the path I was going to take' I once again managed to get myself up, dust myself off and keep going...
I knew I could not continue seeing chemotherapy as the evil, the poison, my worst nightmare. If I was going to embark on this journey for the second time round, I had to also change 'my lenses'!
Somehow I ended up calling the medical treatment 'The trilogy of healers': Platin, Gem and Durva! I visualised each of them being a super-hero doing their job at clearing and cleansing all the tumours.
And of course... I could not just leave it at that, I carried on complimenting the medical treatment with holistic practices and modalities. This is quite simply non-negotiable for me! And looking back, why would it be any other way? This still gave me a sense of control, somehow I had to have control over the situation, I had to have enough 'tools in my tool box' for any eventuality!!!
But whilst still exerting some level of control, I also felt a need to find more equilibrium within my approach. I was too rigid and that had to be let go off nice and gently.
So whilst having treatment, 3 words came to mind... these became my new life motto, almost the mantra I was to live by:
Flow
Let Go
Surrender
And... did you ever notice that the word 'treatment' starts with the word 'treat'??? Well, out of this realisation came along the 'treats' post treatment. I finally allowed myself to mindfully savour and enjoy an ice cold gelato that felt so soothing post chemotherapy. It took me a while to let go of the guilt and the terrible fear, that making those adjustments brought, but slowly I started to feel more liberated. And in the winter months I even treated myself to a homemade scone! Yes, I finally was letting go of the rigidity and control!
The insane fear of EVERYTHING causing cancer was still lurking in the shadows so I had to be vigilant and address it with lots of with self love and compassion.
This was also a period of time to explore a new path... to switch the focus from just the physical body and 'dive into the waters' of the body - mind - soul connection. The mental and metaphysical causes of diseases.
6 months into this new journey and I was great, albeit starting to feel very tired despite managing the side effects of treatment really well. Time for some scans before we stop the chemo.... and the results were... BETTER than I could possibly imagine. Not quite the spontaneous remission I was working towards but in medical terms 'the second best thing'!
'I knew it, all my efforts paid off! Just one tiny tumour to get rid off and I am done! I can do this, easy!'
So I was ecstatic to be 'jumping off the chemo wagon' and simply continue along the road on the maintenance immunotherapy 'tuk-tuk' 🙌
Sara 💙
'The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us'
Ralph Waldo Emerson
... And yet so far!
Not long along this path, before the 3 month scans check up, the fatigue started to manifest itself... some new pains started developing... 'Well, this is odd?! It is probably because it is the Winter and the Durva is stimulating the immune system and making me more prone to run downs!'
Or maybe not.... those annoying scan results once again were the bearer of unwanted news!
AGAIN!!!! 'Recurrent disease'!!! And now with also a damaged thyroid! Nice one, thank you very much!
'I mean... really??? How is this possible??? Was it the odd ice cream and scone? Oh my... did the sugar feed the cancer??? But I am still doing everything... on constant toxin watch! Something just does not add up?!'
There has to be another way.... What about all those stories on YouTube and beyond of people that did not even have conventional treatment and managed to recover from cancer... by simply drinking carrot juice?! Why can't I be that person??? I have been doing everything, I am even combining the 2: the conventional with the complimentary... and still keep 'slipping down the muddy path'!
Hours of research showed that I could probably find all the answers at some clinics in Mexico, Germany, Turkey, Spain...etc. Time to contact them all, no stone gets left unturned!
A few days... several calls and emails later...
'Ok if I can re-mortgage my home, fundraise or even 'sell an unnecessary organ' I may be able to afford having treatments at these clinics! But wait?! I have not come across a single CAA patient with a success story! Arggghhhhh.... what do I do now??? There has got to be a different path... I know there is, I just need to find it!!!'
Well, once again... the medical team pulled out some new tools from their toolkit.... once again we meant business!
'I see what happened there... the immunotherapy alone did not manage to keep things stable, unless it was part of the trilogy gang it simply did not perform well solo!'
Time to bring in the new kid! Meet Ivosidenib - the targeted therapy!!! Oh yes... TARGETED!!! Get ready for that IDH1 mutation!
I called it Ivo-San! And of course, this new kid needs a mentor... let me introduce you to Corio-Miyagi (coriolus versicolor) - those of you from the 80's will remember Karate Kid! 😅
Of course I had to get some new tools out of my own toolkit!
I am once again all kitted out and ready for the next journey... Bring it on!
Sara 💙
'He who has a why to live can bear almost any how'
Friedrich Nietzsche
Add comment
Comments