Alive & Awake

As I am getting ready to leave the house for another treatment, I find myself lost in my usual 'philosopher's deep thoughts'. It suddenly dawned on me... Life IS the ultimate human experience!!! 

For the past few weeks I have been noticing more and more how much most people around me seem to be asleep, disconnected and numb to life.

When I ask people how they have been and receive answers such as:

'Same sh*t different day'

'Counting the days until...'

'Oh you know, surviving'

'Another miserable day as always'

And so on...

I cannot help but wonder how we have ended up here?! Seriously... Surviving??? Really???

I, once upon a time, used some of these same answers though!!! 😱

Have we become so distracted by everyday living, work, social media, materialism, consumerism, keeping up with the Joneses, etc... that we have ended up missing the whole point of being alive? 

Or are we, in actual fact, so afraid to go deep into ourselves, to get to know the real Self that we end up self sabotaging and becoming addicted to external distractions?

When was the last time you actually sat in pure stillness, allowing your thoughts to come and go as they please without judgement, only pure observation?

Crazy...even scary thought right?

I have come to noticing that most people find it unconfortable to be with themselves so they keep finding things to do. Often these people are the super busy ones, the ones who never stop, often 'running on empty'.

With jobs becoming more demanding and less gratifying, how much are we prepared to allow them to rob us of our 'joie de vivre'? What is the ultimate price we are prepared to pay for this chronic dissatisfaction?

...

Now on my way back home post treatment (chemotherapy), above the clouds at 24,000 ft, the sun is shinining in my face. This feels so good especially after a couple of grey days on the ground. As I sit here I had to pause writing as I can't help but feel a deep sense of gratitude for a good day. I am just enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face and mesmerized by its light shining on the vast clouds!

How can I feel like I am literally 'on cloud 9' after over 5 hours of chemotherapy treatment??? 🤷🏻‍♀️ crazy, right?

And yet at my very core, right now, I feel a sense of calmness and gratitude. I feel 'awake' to life!

I often also have my introspective moments...oh I have them!!! And they generally take me down the dark, shadowed path where less pleasant feelings rise to the surface. These feelings generally turn up 'unannounced', sometimes during the post-chemo 'crash', other times completetly out of the blue and when I least expect them.

But I do not see these moments as 'miserable days' I see them as an opportunity to go deep, to grow and expand no matter how unconfortable it feels.

I know that I will come out of the cave and see the sunshine again and I will be even more awake and with my eyes wide open to life 🙏

Sara 💙

'We are human Beings, not human doings!' 

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